Friday, April 22, 2005

A few of our memories....

04/22/2005

To the entire Harms and Nesse families as well as all of Kurt’s friends, I am so sorry for your loss!  I feel like we only knew Kurt a short time and yet were blessed so much by his presence.  He will live on in our hearts!

My family has known Kurt for about 7+ years.  We met him shortly after Dana began working for Hughes in El Segundo.  We have 3 girls; Christina is 15, Catherine is 11, and Charlene is 7.  Our first get together involved several people bringing their computers to our apartment and hooking them all together so we could play.  He played Warcraft and who knows what else with us all but our girls instantly took to him and I believe the feeling was mutual.  There were a couple of those get together before it several people were relocated to Colorado.
Kurt arrived in Colorado later than we did.  Anyone that knew Kurt would understand that late was the norm for him!  We started getting together again at our house more and more to play games or do whatever.  We weren’t limited to only computer games.  There was so much more. 

Kurt would frequently join us for holiday dinners when he didn’t go home or get involved playing a game at home and lose track of time.  One year near Christmas, he joined us when we hosted some Japanese exchange students.  Another year, when Dana, the girls and I were in Japan for Thanksgiving, he came over and had dinner with my parents.  He really just became part of the family.  There were several other times when he’d just come over for dinner or games, always arriving carrying a 12 pack of Vanilla Coke.  I used to appreciate his compliments on my cooking but after some of the stories I’ve read about what he ate, well, maybe I need to consider the source!  There were also several times we’d just drag him along where ever our family was going.  I never realized how many of our friends knew him until this happened and we realized how many other people he had touched.

Three years ago we started going to Water World for Catherine and Charlene’s birthdays.  At first, when Dana and I talked about we thought--- 3 kids>2 adults!  The odds didn’t seem favorable!  So, the logical conclusion was to invite one more kid, Kurt who could keep up with the others!  That became our tradition each year since.  It was great to watch him play with the kids.  I laughed how Christina, then 12, managed to goad him into going down one of the drop off water slides.  If a 12 year old could do it, then certainly Kurt could.  Let’s just say they both screamed like little girls the entire way down!

One year, we ventured to Elitch Garden.  We not only took advantage of the amusement park but we alternated between there and the water park section.  I think this was the first time I learned Kurt was not invincible.  Dana and I wanted to go on one of the roller coaster and so Kurt joined us.  We had so much fun that when we got off, we decided to go again; particularly since there was no line.  Well, once on the roller coaster was doable for Kurt, but that second time turned him completely green!  He spent the next hour trying to convince the girls he really was okay, and perhaps himself too!

Another tradition we had was seeing the Lord of the Rings movies together.  I think we saw the first movie in the theater about a week after it opened but the 2nd and 3rd we went to on opening nights.  I was amused watching Catherine explain the parts he’d missed.  The night before the 3rd one debuted, we decided to watch the uncut version of the first 2 movies before seeing the 3rd.  Kurt came over and we all sat down to watch the movies.  At about 3 AM, Dana and I woke to Kurt getting ready to leave.  Dana and I had slept through most of the 2nd movie and Kurt had managed to stay awake!  They went to work the next day and we all went to see Return of the King that night!

We also got into playing the Lord of the Rings card game together.  This is one of those games where sometimes, the best constructed deck can be defeated by simple mistakes or even the luck of the draw.  There were many weeks when he’d come over only to be defeated by almost any of us.  He was always a good sport.

While the kids were awake, he was completely at their disposal, whether it was taking them for rides in his Z, listening to stories or running up and down the street with them on his shoulders.  Recently, he wanted to teach Christina to drive but with the laws the way they are he never had that opportunity---at least that they admitted to me! 

After the girls went to bed, we’d often stay up until 1 or 2 AM talking about anything.  It was great to watch him and Dana go back and forth.  Dana would say something as if ANYONE should know it and Kurt would basically show that he didn’t with one of his “What’s?” followed by a laugh!  Kurt loved to get Dana to make one of his peculiar looks as much as Dana loved to make Kurt laugh.

For our last visit with Kurt, he came over to dinner then we played a new game we had received for Christmas.  He also brought the family some gifts from Australia including kangaroo jerky, a clip on koala that hangs from the pull on our ceiling fan and he gave Christina an alarm clock for her birthday.  During the course of his visit, he took each of the girls for a ride in the Z with the top off (not necessarily a good idea in Colorado in January) and I think they even ended up at the park for a bit. The girls had received gift cards to Barnes and Noble from someone so Uncle Kurt took them shopping.  We talked about everything from taxes to TV shows!  As he was leaving we talked about him joining us for the next dance the girls team was having.  He had to cancel on that dance when he left for Australia on his final trip.

Kurt loved his work and whatever it was he was up to on this particular assignment, it was very interesting to him.  I could see him wanting to be able to share some cool stories related to work but then not being able to do so because of security issues.  I did find it amusing that when I poked around the internet for information about the area, that the sight he worked at, nicknamed Pine Gap, is often referred to as the “Area 51” of Australia!  Somehow it just fits with Kurt!

As I’ve gone through and written this I’ve realized several things.  The stories of Kurt that were so prevalent were part of what made him who he was but to me, and to my family I think, he was so much more than the stories.  He was larger than life!  The stories are incredible and I really think as his nephews grow older they will have a hard time believing they are all about one person and true.  It’s just all so unbelievable and yet, believable to those of us that knew him. 

I miss the Uncle Kurt who would play with the girls and then kick back and relax with the “old people” when they finally went to sleep.  I think about what a tragedy it is that he will never have children of his own but I’m thankful we got to share ours with him.  He was such a good family man. 

He was such a gift to us all and we will miss him terribly.  I’ve tried to grab on to anything I could that would make sense of this tragedy and so maybe this will help some of you.  Last week, I was at a funeral and there was a reading from Wisdom.  It said, “The souls of the just are in the hands of God.” Kurt was a just man and so I believe that he is with God and he’s probably laughing, not believing all the fuss we are making!  Of course, we all know he was worth it!

Blessings and prayers,
Marion Moreland

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Continuing Thanks to Kurt's Friends

04/20/2005

It is difficult to express our gratitude, and how much it means to me and my family, for the memories and pictures of Kurt that you all share.  There are so many instances that we did not know of, or for which we only had a vague description, that we now can experience and enjoy. It helps us feel closer to Kurt.  I also look forward to my sons reaching the age where they can read the stories and view the pictures, and really appreciate how unique was their Uncle Kurt.

I am on holiday this week, and finally feel prepared to begin adding my own memories over the next few days.  I am amazed at how many memories I have, though, that are virtually impossible to share.  These are instances as we were growing up that he and I could revive with only a word or a gesture – those crazy little things that have no significance other than it was shared with someone with whom you are very close.  These are the type of exchange that would sound insignificant if described, but really are small but critical attachments.

Thanks again all, for all you remember.

Warm Regards,
Greg Harms

Monday, April 18, 2005

Felt a Close Connection

04/18/2005

While uploading my pictures and tribute to Kurt on this web site, I was listening to a CD on my computer. I was not very familiar with the songs near the end of this particular CD.  But as one particular song came to a close, I thought to myself, this is a great song that comforts me and is somehow providing me with some solace.  I looked at the name of the track and to my surprise, it was entitled, “New Star in the Sky”, by Air on the “Moon Safari” CD.  The singing is kind of purposely muddled, so I had to look up the lyrics in the liner notes.  Here they are:

My baby blue is a new star
In the sky
The world the world the world the world
Just for you for nobody else

In Loving Memory of Kurt Harms

04/18/2005

Written by Alan Lopez
March 27, 2005

I knew Kurt for 20 years, almost half my life, and I considered him one of my closest and dearest of friends.

Kurt was like a kid, lost in endless wonderment.  He was always pondering the imponderables. For example, Kurt was fascinated by number sequences in dates and times.  He would get excited when the clock read a progressive sequence, such as 01/02/1986 11:22:33 or 12:34:56 and would stare at the clock in the Operations Control Center near the time it would strike to be sure to see it.  He was fascinated by science and how all things worked.

All of my friends and family who met Kurt, remember him, and often asked for him.  He was a guy who would never hurt a fly.  He was the master of puns.  He was the life of any party.  He was the real-life “Cosmo Kramer” in our lives.  Kurt was a guy that just about anyone could instantly relate to on some level, and could provoke laughter and pure joy. This was Kurt’s gift to the world.

Kurt kept us entertained with his stories.  I’ve heard virtually all his stories and never got tired of any of them.  His were stories that would make me laugh every time I heard them.  When Kurt met some of my other friends, I would ask him to repeat his stories, and I would enjoy them as much as my friends did hearing them for the first time.

Here are a few of the best stories and recollections that have not been told by the others.  Only Kurt could tell them properly and make them so entertaining.  His eyes and facial expressions and delivery made them so funny.  Whenever I repeated them, they just weren’t nearly as funny.  I know I won’t do them justice, but you may remember them.

One day sometime after Thanksgiving, Kurt felt like eating a sandwich made with leftover turkey.  He had received turkey from two sources at two different times.  He forgot that he had the old turkey and pulled it out thinking it was the newer batch.  He made a turkey sandwich and started eating it.  While eating he noticed a bad smell and could not think of where it was coming from.  He finished half of his turkey sandwich before he realized that the bad smell was coming from his half-eaten turkey sandwich.  He then began deciding whether he should finish the sandwich.  He finally decided to eat the remainder of his sandwich.  He figured that he had eaten half of it and hadn’t died, so it was probably safe to finish it.

To kid around with Kurt and invoke a guaranteed reaction from him, one that always made him blush a beet red color, I would whisper things to him when a good-looking woman was nearby.  I would tell him something like, “Hey Kurt, this girl really likes you, she thinks you’re hot” or “Hey Kurt, if you want to go out with this girl, I’ll go ask her for you”.  No matter how lightly I was whispering, Kurt was sure the girl could hear me.  He would get so incredibly embarrassed.  He would turn around and plead with me to be quiet.

Kurt had a voracious appetite.  At the Naval Academy, they had set times to eat.  But he would often get hungry after dinner and would hang out with the cooks and eat after-dinner snacks in the kitchen.  One night he felt hungry for a snack and went to the kitchen.  Everyone had gone to bed and all the food was locked up.  He noticed an uneaten piece of pie sitting in a trash can on the top.  Kurt said the pie was hardly touched, so he figured it was OK to eat it.  Just as he was beginning to eat the piece of pie, an officer came around the corner and instantly realized what Kurt was doing.  He looked at Kurt, gave him a weird look (mimicked by Kurt) and said, “Gross me out!” Kurt had pulled a “Costanza”.

Kurt felt claustrophobic when he was assigned to a submarine while in the Naval Academy.  He couldn’t find a good place to be alone to exercise.  He finally found a quiet place and was very happy that he found a little secret hideaway.  He went there to exercise and found the temperature very hot there, but he didn’t think about it too much.  After a few days of using this secret place, he looked up and noticed a warning that nuclear radiation was present in that area and that this area should be avoided.

Kurt always wondered if he talked in his sleep.  He wondered what kind of things he might have muttered in his sleep.  He thought that maybe they were great ideas that would solve some of mankind’s problems.  He finally decided to get a voice-activated tape recorder.  He was so excited to set it up that night, he could hardly sleep.  He finally fell asleep.  In the morning he woke up, remembered the tape recorder and looked at the tape usage.  Some tape had been used to make recordings.  He rewound it and heard the buzzing of the audio that had been recorded.  This made him very excited.  He played the tape and heard the following.  The tape recorder made a swooshing sound every time it was voice activated.  Here is how Kurt described the recording.  He would mimic all the sounds that he heard.  He said he heard something like a “swoosh, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, swoosh” (dog barking), and, “swoosh, rrrrr, rrrrrr, rrrrrrrr, swoosh” (motorcycle going by).  The whole tape was filled with outside ambient noise and he was so disappointed that none of it was of him talking in his sleep.

Kurt’s roommates were complaining of tiny bugs flying around the house.  They couldn’t figure out where they were coming from.  After several weeks, one of Kurt’s roommates found the source.  Behind the refrigerator, there was something that was rotted on the floor.  Kurt saw it and vaguely remembered that bought some potatoes and hid them behind the refrigerator so that his roommates wouldn’t eat them.  He inspected the rotting pile and found that the potatoes had shriveled up, grew into plants and had died and rotted into a black, wet, rotting mass.  When the bag of rot was moved, a “cloud” of flying bugs would be released into the air.  It was difficult to clean it up, but his roommates demanded that he do it.

Kurt’s boss at his first job at Hughes was sick one day.  Kurt was asked to fill in for him by doing a job interview.  He found out that the job applicant had a PHD.  He wanted to impress the applicant, so he thought up what he thought were interesting questions.  The interview started out all right.  Then Kurt started asking his “interesting” questions.  He said the interviewee got more and more agitated as the interview continued.  He started to squirm and sweat, and toward the end of the interview, he was shaking.  Kurt later realized that the interviewee felt that he was being grilled by Kurt’s questions.  But Kurt couldn’t understand why someone with a PHD would be intimated by him.  Kurt just wanted to impress the guy.

Here is an email that Kurt wrote in 1999.  After helping him move one day, I saw all the things he held onto and told him that he was unable to throw anything away.  For instance, he still had a jar of “sea monkeys”, those crystals that grow in water, since childhood.  I told him that he was unable to get rid of his vintage Ford Fairlane in favor of a new car.  This is what he wrote:

Hi Alan,

Yaah, I guess you’re right.  I’ve ADOPTED my cars.

When I’m with my sister I am shocked at how she spoils her kids.  I’ve even let her know a few times.

However, I’m beginning to think I’d do the same damn thing.

I’ve dumped all kinds of money on both of my cars.

Also, I bought a new fish !  It doesn’t require an aquarium.  It prefers to live in a little jar. Well, I bought some special food for it and the directions said to feed it only three tiny pellets a day. I thought to myself, this isn’t hard; I’ll just follow the directions.
It’s better for the fish anyway.

Well, guess what.  I’m now feeding it 15 pellets a day !

I can’t bear it when it looks at me and wants food.

Anyway, you’re right.

Kurt

After a while, the fish were bloated and so fat that they could barely swim.  He had to buy an aquarium for them because they outgrew their jar.  I know because I used to feed his fish when he was away on business trips.

Kurt, Nancy (my wife) and I went to the Egyptian Theater in Los Angeles to see a special screening of El Cid, starring Charleton Heston.  At the end of the movie, Charleton Heston walked onto the stage and took a bow.  After the movie, Kurt went to the restroom.  Nancy and I waited outside.  Kurt came out of the theater very excited and began to tell me that while standing at the urinal, Charleton Heston walked up and took the urinal next to his.  Kurt was so excited to see him he tried to shake his hand.  Charleton asked Kurt to wait until he was finished.  After Chartleton washed up, Charleton Heston gave Kurt a signed copy of a 8” x 10” photo of Charleton Heston from the movie El Cid.

Kurt was so afraid of disappointing people.  After he moved to Denver, he never told Nancy and I of his visits to Los Angeles in advance.  That way, if he got held up for some reason, we would not be disappointed at his being late.  He would suddenly appear at our doorstep, out of the blue, and ask if we could get together.  He wouldn’t listen when I told him we wouldn’t hold it against him if he were late.

It took me a while to be able to write all this down.  Up to now it has been too painful.  It was my great privilege and pleasure to know Kurt.  Kurt lived life to the fullest.  We shared so many good times, traveling (some business related), camping, hiking, skiing, surfing (body boarding), running marathons and 10Ks, going to Los Angeles Raider football games, playing video games, and going to movies.  His life touched so many people, including mine.  His friendship was unique and can never be replaced.  I loved Kurt like a brother.  There is a hole in my heart that I hope someday will heal.

Kurt gave Nancy and I one of his favorite plants when he moved to Denver.  It has thrived over the years in our bedroom facing the southern sky.  It now provides a special memory of him for us.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

A Kindred Spirit

04/03/2005

I’ve known and worked with Kurt since around 1997.  My life has been richer through friendship with him.  I’ve always been sort of socially awkward, and Kurt was one of the few people I felt genuinely at ease with.  It seemed his mind was always working on something and he was willing to share his thoughts and experiences with unbridled enthusiasm and humor.  I felt a special kinship with Kurt in that we thought some of the same silly things were funny and had similar interests and personality traits.  I never tired of hearing his stories and puns no matter how many times he told them.  He was my movie, lunch, and conversation comrade.

The last day I saw Kurt was on the afternoon of Sunday March 13 at the Raytheon fitness center.  He said he wanted to get in a workout before his long flight to Australia that evening.  We talked about all sorts of things over 90 minutes or so.  It started with Kurt performing a vigorous demonstration on the gym’s new punching bag as two young ladies looked on.  Later he was listening to educational recordings on his mp3 player while completing seemingly never ending curl reps.  I’m glad I shook hands with Kurt and wished him a good trip as I left.  I will always remember and be inspired by his wonderful passion for life.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Kurt and Stefans great lifelong adventure!

04/01/2005

Kurt and I go back some 40 years. We have always been lifelong friends. We remained close throughout our school years.  Kurt and I enjoyed doing all sorts of outdoor activities together like skiing, hiking, camping, etc. 

After High School while Kurt was at the U.W. I bought a new car and we travelled around the western United States together.  Highlights were Yellowstone in Montana and Southern Utahs Redrock Country and Aspen Groves.  Other fond memories are a trip I took with Kurt, Lucy, and Greg to Seaside Oregon during a Pacific Storm. We were both about 13 with no parents.  We slept in a tent and got totatlly soaked!  The next night we went to a cheap motel and dryed off.  Another one was enjoying rootbeer floats at triple XXX after playing tennis with Kurts dad.  And then theres the weeklong ski trip to Mt Baker!  It snowed so much me and Kurt had to spend half a day digging his car out,it was completly buried! 

When Kurt went off to the Navel Academy and persued his carreer with Hughes and Raytheon he allways kept in touch by sending photos and letters of all his travels from around the world!  Of course I was jealous,I love travel to! 
I feel very fortunate to have been able to visit Kurt this last October in Denver. It was very special! The weather was perfect and we traveled all over Colorado Rockies.  He was a great host considering I had a broken foot.  Kurt enjoyed his favorite, mashed potatos at every stop!  And then there is the beautifull golden fall colors of the Aspen trees just like 25 years before on our last trip together! 

With Kurt, what you see is what you get, no need to make any exaggerated stories! He is the real the thing, he loved everyone around him and he loved life!  Kurts spirit will be with me forever! 

- Stefan Kirchhauser

Homesick

04/01/2005

I’ve been trying to find words to say, and maybe they’ll come in
time but for now this song has really hit home for my family.

MercyMe - Homesick
From the album Undone

You’re in a better place, I’ve heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I’ve rejoiced for you
But the reason why I’m broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don’t understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I’ll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I’m still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I’ll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow

I’ve never been more homesick than now