Cut to the Quick
03/21/2008
It’s been many years since I last caught-up with Kurt. I think it was around 1994.
I was always so proud of Kurt. And, always so thankful for knowing him, and his humble and also matter-of-fact curiosity, generosity, and larger-than-life demeanor.
I’ll also never forget his lists. Plebe year he seemed to have a list for everything, even his morning wake-up regimen (Wake-up, turn off alarm, get out of bed, stand on both feet,...). As one of his roommates, we probably teased him more than we ought to have about those lists, but that never seemed to phase him. It was like water off his back. I’ll also never forget our ingenious attempts to study past lights-out. I’m not sure which was more fun, doing it, or our benignly blithe, geeky multi-factor, root-cause analyses of successes and failures.
After Annapolis, I came out to Seattle for Craig Hardin’s wedding. Kurt and Craig were (the) 2 Seattle-ites in the Class of 1982, and trips back to their “motherland” seemed always to be a well-coordinated event between these 2. But they were also good friends to each other the rest of the year. I don’t recall when or the circumstances around Kurt’s 1st introducing us, but I do recall how thoroughly I enjoyed the week I spent with Kurt, his family, as well as Craig, his family, and the rest of the bridal party. Besides, I got to see these 2 back “in their element.” What a blast. And, I’ll never forget Kurt’s parents warning me several times that week that “Its not always such beautiful weather here in Seattle. You’re lucky, maybe too lucky.” The gracious welcome of that week has remained a thanksgiving of mine throughout the years.
Kurt and I kept in touch while I was stationed on a ship out of Japan, again while I was stuck off the coast of Iran-Iraq, and made our plans for our 1st “synch-ups” while I was in the shipyards (on another ship) in Philly. I’d just gotten orders for a shore billet (back in San Diego). I think we held-3-4 of these “synch-up” meetings between the late 1980’s and 1994.
Each time we’d catch up on each other. 1993-94 was a little of a rough spot for me. My 1st post-Navy job had just been eliminated (downsized with lots of corporate politics involved), and I needed to figure out what I would do with myself. My social (relationship) life was also in a shake up. Kurt reminded me of my potential and encouraged me to “go for it,” seconding my plans to go back to college and study Classical languages and cultures.
And each time we synch’d-up, Kurt would introduce a new restaurant in the Long Beach, Redondo Beach or even Santa Monica beach area. This was an aspect of Kurt, as a man, that he seemed to develop and fine-hone. While we were at Annapolis, Kurt was renowned for how he enjoyed chow-hall food. Now, as man, Kurt had stepped it up. Every one of the restaurants we ate at prepared “home” food, but each also did it so well that it wasn’t merely “good eats.”
2 more thoughts for now, and then I’ll close…
- As his roommate, Kurt taught me how to “primal vent.” It’s not a scream or a shriek; that’s too shrill. Nor a grunt or growl; that’s too contrived. It’s also not a gasp or a sigh; they are both too resigned if not defeated. And, although it may be in angst, it could also quite eloquently express other emotions. I use to aliken it to sudden “groan too deep for words”—what St. Paul called “prayer of the Holy Spirit.” Yep, an earthy, deep primal venting. Whenever I let one of these out, I think of and thank Kurt. ...Even if my beloved wonders what the heck.
- The other thought I have is total disbelief and the title of this posting. I really have a hard time believing Kurt, with his huge personality and his utter soul has “left the building,” and done so so early and quietly. And, because of his magnitude and depth, it cuts me to the quick.
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Memory feeds imagination.
I am not young enough to know everything.
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
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There is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness.
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.
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Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love, though I’d stepped in it a few times.
It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.
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Anger is never without Reason, but seldom with a good One.
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No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.
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The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
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TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
One of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish had been left unsaid.
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No.
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